Wonderful

My life has seen the presence and influence of many girls. There have been flings and relationships and unrequited loves. Some have ended well, some badly. Some have been long, some short, some serious, some not. They have all been at some level the same, and yet all very different. I suspect that this trend will continue into the future, to an indeterminate point in time.

One very interesting thing that I have found in this history is that no woman has succeeded in passing through my life without leaving an impression. I would say that none have succeeded in passing through my life without changing me, but this terminology seems to leave a sour taste in most contemporary mouths, so I will refer to it as leaving an impression.

The power of a girl over a man is quite extraordinary. It is such that the smallest word, deed, idea, anything can have an incredible and lasting effect. When you consider all the things, great and small, that a girl will say to you over a given period of time, it's easy to see just how incredible their influence can be.

And how wonderful.

I was having a conversation earlier tonight involving a strange phenomenon: There is a tendency for people to remember past relationships with bitterness. It often manifests in a sentiment such as, "Man, my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend is such an asshole," usually followed by vague justification regarding this ex-partner's shortcomings. With very few exceptions, this logic is broken at best, devised simply to help one get over the offending party.

It is key to remember in such a situation why you were in the relationship in the first place. Of course they are not perfect; if they were, you would still be together. But there are so many things that happened before that. There was laughter and hope and kisses and beauty and discovery and rapture. This is why you were together in the first place. Isn't that what you would want to remember them by?

And yes, there are tears. A broken heart cries. Such is life. There is some strange conception deep in some people's hearts that there is something wrong with this. That it is to be avoided. For my part, I would not want to go through life without knowing what it is to cry. It is part of life, and I do not want to miss any of it. And, after all, pain and sorrow is just another indication that we had, at some point, something worth hurting over.

It's worth it.

And then there's the ho.

As it turns out, it's possible to sum up any given's importance to us in five words or less.

As I was out with the guys tonight, we determined that one of our friends at another school was our favorite "Unconvicted Felon." Good for a laugh, sure, but then it occured to me that this really did sum up our feelings about the guy. Now, this is a long-time friend of mine, yet this simple, two-word description was enough to completely encompass everything that I felt about the guy. Is it possible that my guys and I are just that shallow? Is it possible that everyone is?

Oh, yes.

There's a comedian named Margaret Cho who surmised that every group of three girlfriends fit into very distinct sterotypes (hence the title of the post; every group ends with "...and then there's the ho!"). Think the "Saved by the Bell" girls.

Is it possible that this sort of simple classification is sufficient to label everyone we know? When you tell stories about your friends when they are not there, how do you describe them? A name and a quick designation, right? "There's the guy I know named Roger, he's an Eloquent Stoner." Maybe you don't use those exact words, but you could.

Of course, a lifetime of experience and wonder are too much to encompass in volumes of well-constructed sentences, but then each of us only knows and experiences a very small fraction of the people we know. Not only that, but that fraction is usually drawn exclusively from one very small face of themselves that said people are willing to present to us. Thus, we are aware of only a tiny part of one side of each person that surrounds us. Often this extends even to people who we know well and cherish dearly.

There are people who I have known for years who I count as friends who can be fleshed out in full simply by saying "Abercrombie Beaut," "Giggly Organic," or "Disdained Artist of the Heart" (Remember, the maximum is five words). Is this really what years of friendship, conversations, history, and shared experiences amount to? A veritable sound byte, without need of context or even the meager trappings of character flesh?

I certainly hope not.